13 Ways to Fail in PR: How to Guarantee Your Press Releases Will Be Completely Ignored

A colleague, Henry Simpson, wrote a blog about what NOT to put in a news release. COMMPRO.com featured it on their blog. I think it is worth spreading around. You can contact Henry at Henry@StimpsonCommunications.com

13 Ways to Fail in PR: How to Guarantee Your Press Releases Will Be Completely Ignored

By Henry Stimpson, Owner, Stimpson Communications 

Yes, press releases still matter in the digital age. And while SEO helps broaden the digital footprint for your release these days—there are still fundamentals that can NOT be overlooked if you want to see pick up from those who matter. Even so, too many in PR are still sending out releases that miss the mark. Here’s how to make sure that yours never fail to fail:

1. APPEAL only to the vanity and ego of your boss/CEO/client, etc.
2. NEVER consider your audience—the news media, potential customers, current clients, etc.
3. CONFUSE. Right at the start, no reader should have any idea what you’re talking about. This shows profundity and complexity of thought.
4. NEVER proofread or use spell-check. Typoes keep the the media on they’re toes. As do bad grammer.
5. A “NEWS” release is not a news story; it’s an ad. Brag from start to finish. Avoid information.
6. PUMP UP the buzzwords. When you pepper your release with phrases like “end-to-end ROI,” “scale visionary initiatives,” and “drive transparent paradigms,” you’re cookin’!
7. INFLATE a brief announcement into 1,000 words. For unusual creativity, shrink an important story into a few opaque sentences.
8. NEVER cite objective outsiders like customers, analysts, researchers, etc. Use lots of long, windy quotes from company insiders—from the CEO to the parking attendant.
9. CRANK ‘em out by the dozen. Then, when you actually have something important to say, no one will notice.
10. SEND them to a huge email list that includes hundreds of irrelevant media outlets with no conceivable interest in your business or industry.
11. USE eccentric Capitalization and odd, Punctuation.
12. FOLLOW these guidelines scrupulously and you’ll be sure that absolutely no one will ever read or remember your press releases, except with disgust.
13. EXPAND! Bonus Tip: Apply a similar philosophy to your website, brochures, advertisements, email, newsletters and presentations to make sure everyone will ignore them, too.